quinto capítulo :B

EU SEI que ninguém lê esses textos e que eles são muito impopulares, mas estou com diarréia mental e não fui capaz de escrever nada novo :F

5 (at home)
Ok, Tanya is not here, that’s good. Now I can eat my croissant and stay in my couch watching Eastenders. Feels good.
Shit! Why do people use telephones? My phone just rings in inappropriate times, for example, when I’m in my cozy blanket eating loads of croissant and being a normal lazy human being.
- Wake up, you sucker! Don’t tell me you’re eating croissants and watching TV!
My beloved brother Tom
- How do you know I’m eating croissants?
- Mom called me two minutes ago, to tell you came to visit and to complain about my inability to be a good son and visit them. About that, thanks so much, sista!
- I’m really a wonderful daughter, you should take me as an example.
- No thanks, it’s already too much living in the same city and having to see them on Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I don’t like to be a good son.
- It’s cause you’ve never been one.
- Ouch! Ok, I called you to remember Alice’s birthday, it’s tomorrow, I know you forgot it ‘cause you have the worst memory in the world. And as I can’t be a good son, at least I’m a terrific brother!
- Haha. What time is it?
- Eight thirty. Be there. And good Eastenders for you!
- How do you know??
My brother is awesome, he’s one of the few people I like. Sometimes he can be a pain in the arse, but whatever, I’m one too and I like myself, at least when I don’t do horrible things and feel like a monster.
Ah, it’s raining now, I love the rain. I know, lots of people don’t like it. I don’t like the rain when it’s too much, you know, raining all the time, but I love to sleep hearing the sound of the rain, I love to watch TV when it rains! I could easily stay like this forever. I’ve decided, right now, that I’m not going to get out of this couch, ever! I will die in this couch, I will never get up. This is my life’s resolution!

Why?? I hate telephones! Why do I have one, anyway? Oh, yes… it’s Tanya’s fault! I hate telephones! And the phone is so far from the couch, bye bye life’s resolution!
- Yes?
- Robin, hey, here is Jade. Where are you?
- At home, of course. – You see, I was forced to betray my resolutions, I wasn’t happy at all.
- Ok, easy, easy. Don’t be cross!
- What do you want?
- Ok, I need some clothes…
- From me?
- Yes, of course, you silly!
- But you’re loads smaller than me!
- Oh, dear… that’s not a problem! See, I need it for a friend!
- What?
- Yes, you know my friend Kate, do you? Well, she is nine months pregnant and she needs a dress for a party, and I immediately remembered you!
Oh, great! My super fitted younger sister who thinks she has the right to destroy my self-esteem. I’m normal size, more for love, but still, this is cruel, you know. She always does that, that horrible bitch!
- Listen, Jade… I don’t think my clot…
- Oh, oh! Don’t even bother to answer, I’m on your street now, I’m coming… see you in a bit!
Kathy puts so much make up on that when you come closer to her you can feel the smell of make up. Always with clingy outfits and all happy and smiling. She enters my room and starts to mess up my closet. Ok, I have to admit, my closet is a mess by itself, but my sister ruining all the few organization that’s left is not going to help very much.
Ok, now she is leaving with two dresses in her arm and complaining about my flat and how much she could help me if I let her redecorate it. I hate my sister, I really do. Fortunately, I finally managed to kick her out of my apartment before I had no choice unless to kill her. And now I deserve to sleep cause there’s nothing better after a long, long day, which include death, my weird parents, and a pleasant visit from my adorable sister.